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For another exciting episode of;
Now, I know that you guys have heard the rumor, started by the likes of Pat Robertson, that aside from being spawned under a rock, in Richard Nixon’s Western White House garden, I’m also illiterate, and don’t read too good, either…
Chicago Sun-Times columnist Mary Mitchell reports that among the guests at Barack Obama’s inauguration may be three boys from Los Angeles County, California, who broke into a house and beat up the old lady inside. Doctors said that the “old lady” was beaten so severely, that authorities feared she might suffer permanent brain damage.
No, I’m not kidding. This has actually been verified, through “reliable sources.”
The little bastards… um… er… perps are inmates at Camp Afflerbaugh in LaVerne, Calif., a program for juvenile offenders that aims “to reunify the minor and family, to reintegrate the minor into the community and to assist the minor in achieving a productive, crime free life.”
In other words, it’s a summer camp for under-aged felons, who aren’t old enough to be sent to prison, where they belong.
An Afflerbaugh employee tells Mitchell, in the columnist’s words, “that on Thursday, the minors were taken to be measured for tuxedos and that a judge has approved the trip”:
That same employee was heard to exclaim; “Merry Christmas to all, and to all…” Wait… that’s not it… “I can’t believe that they would do that for three criminals who assaulted an old lady in her home!”
What in the hell is Obama thinking?
These “youth boot camps” are usually run by hard-nosed jarheads who love to entertain the troops, while they bludgeon them into shape. I can just hear the exercise chants now…
“Kill your neighbors, harm your friend, you’ll get to the White House in the end…”
Of all the kids Obama’s people could have chosen to help celebrate Obama’s inauguration, they choose three street thugs who tried to kill a senior citizen during a home invasion robbery. What the hell is this world coming to?
(Picture lexinator shaking his head…)