BLM Wages War Against A National Icon!!

Did you see this?

The Bureau of Land Management (BLM) has announced plans to kill America’s wild horses rather than effectively manage our wild natural heritage.

We have a Bureau of Land Management?  Why?  What do they do, sneak agents onto your lawn at night and trim the hedges to Government specifications?

I bet they do rich peoples’ lawns first.

And I bet that it takes twice as many of them to do the job as it would if they hired Mexicans like everyone else.

That’s right! The Bureau of Land Management (BLM) claims it can no longer afford to round up wild horses and confine them until it finds people to adopt them. So, the agency wants to euthanize these majestic wild beauties or sell them to the highest bidder “without limitation…”

Which translates into; “You can do whatever you want with them, even make “Purina Puppy Chow” outta them, if you want to.

Is it a Bureaus or an Agency?

Why don’t we just give the land back to the Indians, and they can worry about the horses?  They’re big on that stuff aren’t they?

I say trade the excess to the North Koreans in exchange for their nuclear reactors.  If our Environmental Wackos won;t let us build our own, we have to get them where ever we can.

Lemme do some math here…

There’s about 30,000 majestic Mustangs roaming the hills of America, versus about 3 million heads of beef cattle…

But the BLM claims that they can’t “allow horses to multiply unchecked on the range without causing an environmental disaster.”

Uh-huh… Can you say “Beef Cattle Lobbyists?” I knew you could…

Or could that be because horses aren’t a native species, so they have no natural predator?

Neither are cattle.

But they have a natural predator, us.  Speaking of which, let’s have steak tonight.

Good idea.

We can spend billions of dollars bombing the “third world” back into the “Stone Age,” but we can’t afford a few horses? And they’re horses that represent the “very spirit of our nation?”

Wild Mustangs are the “poster children” of freedom, determination, and our heritage. So obviously, they must die…

Horses don’t represent the spirit of our nation, whores do.

Not true.  It’s lobbyists.

Whores!

Lobbyists!

I hate to interrupt, but you’re both saying the same thing.

What?

Well, everything dies.

Except for Dick Clark.

And Keith Richards. Don’t forget Keith Richards.

And the BLM operates under the guise of being an “environmental” agency…

So, what would ole’ “Lexinator” do?

There are approximately 31,000 high, middle, and elementary schools that use the majestic Mustang, as their mascot. I even went to one of those schools! 11,160 of these schools reside within school districts that have agricultural programs. (I checked!)

So… Why not donate the horses to the schools, to use as “live mascots,” thus insuring their health and well-being, and eliminate the prospect of slaughter for dog food?

I’m positive that local communities would welcome the idea, and even the financial responsibility, to save these majestic (and LIVING) representations of AMERICAN FREEDOM from a death sentence inflicted by a callous and uncaring  government that has forgotten it’s roots…

Here’s an example of the petition that is circulating around. This one bears about 17,000 signatures, the last time I checked…

***************

Dear Government Asshole Bureaucrats;

That’s redundant.

Yeah, and I doubt there are 17,000 US citizens that can write.

They leave an X.

Um… that’s not it… Lemme start again…

Dear Director Caswell,

Is your first name DICK, perhaps?

(Okay, okay… I’ll stop… for now.)

No you won’t.  Check your contract.

I am deeply disappointed with your proposal to kill or sell-off wild horses in confinement rather than develop a management plan to return these majestic animals to the range where they belong.

There are over three million cattle grazing on federal land, while fewer than 30,000 wild horses roam free. Your agency has more wild horses in confinement than on the range. I urge you to strike a better balance between cattle ranching and wild horses that will truly preserve our wild horses.

Please consider alternatives such as expanded birth control programs, working with the National Park Service to add land to the range in areas where the horses already currently reside, and limiting the number of permits granted for mountain lion hunting to allow natural predation to control the herd population.

I’d close it like this:

“Think carefully, Caswell… After all, we know where your children go to school… you horse-hating piece of sh*t…

I don’t think he hates horses.  I think he’s a misguided cult leader who wants to send their souls off to meet the Holy space ship.  So, unless the horses provide a written protest of his actions, in triplicate, how do we know he;s not right?

I thought you were an atheist?

I am, but I don’t know all that much about horses.

Sincerely…

A friend of Mustangs… and even Shelby Cobras.

And of course, I wouldn’t do anything to Caswell’s kids. It’s not their fault that their dad is a dick. But I hope he gets kicked in the nuts by an errant hoof, the next time he’s hobnobbing it with the lobbyists at the “Polo Grounds…”

But then again, I’m a “bleeding-heart liberal pacifist…” right?

Don’t bet on it…